Friday, December 31, 2010

Down to the Wire~Frantically!

I guess that should have been joyfully rather than frantically. After all, that is my word of the year. To squeeze in this last post on joy, I need to interrupt the regularly scheduled program, blogging about Holland, to beat the clock. It is my hope to share about Holland and Tyler soon. It is my goal to try to be a better blogger in 2011.

Joy. I picked the word because it has been a hard posture for me to sustain in times of trials. I would love to say I have now fully overcome that. I can't say that, but can say I have thought about situations in light of the joy grid many times this year. Admittedly, most of the time, it was after the fact. Though there is plenty room for more growth, I did learn a lot. The second book I read, many months ago, helped immensely. I read The Myth of Happiness, by Rich Wagner. Fortunately, I noted several things I wanted to share with you, knowing that I could not rely on this over forty brain.

He nailed me early on, stating that many of us are "paced for happiness, not joy." He goes on to say that we are preoccupied with immediacy. Ouch, the truth hurts. The good news for me/us is that we do not have to stay there. We can experience joy, in its transformative sense. The Lord is all about transforming us. The foot of the cross is a great place for this work to begin. On our way to the base of the cross, we need to remove all the garb that helps us confuse happiness for joy. The Lord is also all about stripping us of the things that distract us from Him. Wagner says, "joy emerges from Scripture as one of the primary ways in which God chooses to reveal Himself, to express His amazing love to mankind, and to equip us for living in a fallen world." He points out that joy, in its various forms is mentioned over 350 throughout scripture. This quote, he uses, from Oswald Chambers emphasizes this. Chambers says that "joy is the great note all through the Bible." Wagner lists six dimensions of biblical joy: a permanent presence, a choice, unlimited, our spiritual lifeblood, experienced with other believers and rooted in eternity. If I try and unpack those, I will miss my midnight deadline! Actually, I encourage you to read the book to see what the Lord might have you learn from those points. However, I do want to share another lesson I learned. It was a hard lesson. Most of them are. Though the story is personal, the points can be drawn from the book. Allow me to share both parts. Wagner lists some attitudes that believers need to guard against, as they are joy busters. Try these on for size: discouragement, fear, grumbling, guilt, and unforgiveness. Ouch again! He says these have the obstructive power to block the joy from flowing through the life of the believer. I think he is on to something, as I not only tried most of them on, but wore them for awhile. I acquired the new wardrobe about two years ago. It happened when our pastor resigned. The discouragement was immediate. I lost a pastor, a co-worker and a friend and it hurt. For months, I walked around in the heavy boots of discouragement. Eventually, my jeans did not have a denim feel, but a texture of fear. I feared that the Lord's hand was not on my church. I feared more good-byes. They were inevitable, but I still feared them. Good-byes hurt. After awhile, my sweatshirt no longer had a Carolina logo, but one that said, "grumbler approaching-beware". I grumbled when more people left. I grumbled when it seemed to be taking forever to find another pastor. I grumbled when we did the necessary work of preparing for a new pastor. I soon added a scarf a green shade of guilt. I felt guilty for feeling discouraged. I felt guilty for grumbling. Of course, feeling guilty made me feel more guilty. For the record, I do not wear hats, but soon tossed on one lined with unforgiveness. It seemed that daily I was finding someone I did not want to forgive. My former pastor, my church, people that left, people that stayed...that hat most have been made of wool because it was very uncomfortable.

Somewhere along the path of my "what not to wear" season, a dear friend/co-worker felt compelled to share how she had a peace about waiting. I wanted to feel that way, but I was holding tight to my uncomfortable clothes. Soon I found myself saying what she said. It was not because I was there, but wanted to be. In the midst of needing to shop/pray for a new outfit, the Lord gave my church a very clear message from a brother from Africa. Kyama was visiting us and when he comes to town, he is asked to preach. He began his sermon by saying that when he asked God what He wanted him to tell CHBC, he said God gave him a vision. He saw a picture of very full coffee bushes, like the ones his grandmother used to grow. What he did not know was that God had given my friend previously mentioned, a vision of a peach tree being pruned several months prior. The Lord indeed had plans for us. I slipped off my boots of discouragement during that service. As I wiggled my toes, I thanked God for His faithfulness. Though my feet became lighter, my clothes were still not fitting right. I would leave a meeting with a pastoral applicant and felt like stopping by the mall for new jeans and a new sweatshirt. The old clothes were growing increasingly uncomfortable, but I stayed in them. Last October, a great month for new jeans and a sweatshirt, I met with a new pastoral applicant and his wife. It seemed so evident that this was who the Lord had planned for us. A new outfit was in order! For some reason, I keep the scarf. In November, I was able to toss the scarf. Our church celebrated its 40th anniversary. It was a time of healing, as our two former pastors spoke and extended blessings to the church. The following morning, another brother from Africa spoke to culminate our celebration. Oscar, like Kyamba, had a very specific word for us. The Lord instructed Oscar to emphasize that during our season with no lead pastor, dwindling numbers, periods of doubt, etc. we were in the middle of a miracle and perhaps we had not recognized it. He reminded us of how God's hand had been on CHBC for 40 years and He was not done with us. He encouraged us to stand firm in those promises and charged us to move ahead resting in that assurance. That same week-end, a formal announcement was made that our search team had put forth a candidate for lead pastor. I left that itchy scarf at church that day. I would love to say I have tossed that awful hat. I find myself wearing it when I struggle with unforgiveness. I sense the Lord unraveling it. Pray with me to that end.

What does all that have to do with joy you might ask? For me, it was a strong reminder that God is always in control, always out for my good and is constantly orchestrating miracles in my life. Joyful, joyful, I adore Him! I need not adorn the joy busters! What about you? Are you wearing some of them and need get a new wardrobe. I hear there is an amazing sale on new clothes at the foot of the cross. The price can't be beat. FREE! Hurry your perfect size awaits.

I'll end with one last quote from Wagner. "Jesus did everything in the spirit of joy. The primary distinguisher of Jesus Christ while on earth was His joy."

Let's try and be more like our Big Brother in 2011.